When my youngest child was a toddler, she had the terrifying habit of jumping into the local public pool without her floaties on, even though she couldn't yet keep her head above water, let alone swim. She had no fear of getting her face wet and splashed around with reckless abandon and glee. Though she understood general pool safety rules, she also knew I would always be there to catch her, providing a hugely beneficial support that she didn't truly recognize the importance of.
As the parent of a child with dyslexia and a college counselor with an extensive background working with neurodivergent teens, I have noticed that we talk a lot about how the college admissions process may look different for our students with learning differences. What we don’t talk enough about, however, is how ready neurodivergent students might be for college and how we can help them cultivate that readiness. And so, in this blog, we’ll discuss how parents can identify if their neurodivergent teenager is ready for college.
Table of Contents
- What is Neurodivergence?
- Understanding College Readiness for Neurodivergent Teens
- How to Help Your Neurodivergent Teenager Prepare for College
- Final Thoughts & Next Steps
Key Takeaways
- College readiness is more than just being academically prepared. For neurodivergent teenagers, success in college also depends on independence, self-advocacy, executive functioning, and emotional regulation.
- Start building skills early and approach the process with a collaborative mindset. Introduce tools, systems, and words of encouragement to help prepare your teen for the transition between high school and college.
- College readiness is a journey. No teen is 100% ready to make the transition when they apply to college, and that’s okay. By building necessary skills early, you can get to a place where you and your teen can feel more confident about the next phase in their lives.
What is Neurodivergence?
Neurodivergence, an umbrella term, is used to describe an individual whose development or function differs from that which is considered normal in society. The reason neurodivergence (or neurodivergent) is considered an umbrella term is that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), dyslexia, or autism are some of the many conditions that are considered types of neurodivergence.
Understanding the signs of neurodiversity is a good place to start identifying if your teen is truly ready to transition to college.
Understanding College Readiness for Neurodivergent Teens
We have spent most of our children’s lives carefully crafting an invisible web of support around them, helping them manage the complex world of academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions. Why invisible? Because much of the time, our children don’t even notice it’s happening anymore, and neither do we.
Some teens with learning differences may be ready to take on the academic, social, and executive functioning challenges of college, but there are many who are going to need a longer runway to launch successfully into the next phase of their lives.
Your child is much more likely to thrive in college if you start helping them build essential skills during their sophomore and junior years, rather than waiting to have this conversation the summer before they leave for college.
College readiness looks different for every student, and “being ready for college” isn’t just about a student’s ability to keep up with their coursework. College readiness is also about:
- Executive functioning (how to plan, organize, and execute tasks effectively)
- Emotional regulation (the ability to handle emotions and potentially challenging situations)
- Self-advocacy (the ability to communicate effectively when help is needed)
- Independence (having control over everyday tasks)
When brainstorming ways you can help your teen prepare for college, think about college readiness holistically. This will help you address areas that need improvement sooner.
Related: Flourish Coaching's Tips for College-Bound Neurodiverse Students with Jessica Nelson
How to Help Your Neurodivergent Teenager Prepare for College
Here are some essential skills you and your child can both start working on:
Hand over the Calendar (Gradually)
Being responsible for your schedule is a huge part of being able to navigate college successfully. Why? Teens go from having 80% of their time highly structured in high school to having 80% of their time unstructured in college. Discovering a system that will work for your child while they are in high school can be pivotal to their future growth in college.
Here are some examples of how you can best help your teen manage their time:
- Use Google Calendar and link it to your own
- Encourage an organizational app
- Use an old-school daily planner (i.e., pen and paper)
Your teen’s sophomore and junior years are the time to start experimenting with different systems that promote autonomy and work for everyone.
Let Them Find Answers for Themselves
Rather than answer a question for your teen, encourage them to ask the question and answer it themselves. For example, as you watch your teen run toward the door to catch the bus (overslept, again), rather than yelling, “Don’t forget your trombone!” take a breath and ask, “What do you have at school today? After school? What do you need to take with you?”
A series of intentional questions allows them to pause, reflect, and decide what they need. Hopefully, in time, they will start to ask themselves these questions.
Avoid Jumping to the Rescue (Right Away, At Least)
Just last week, I watched my kids in the driveway inventing a game with a skateboard and jump rope, and I thought, “That’s not going to end well.” But I didn’t intervene because I knew they needed to learn the limits of their bodies, and at worst, it would mean a few scraped knees.
The same goes for the brain. Teens need a chance to take risks and fail, and then figure out what went wrong. More importantly, when they experience successes after those failures, it lets them know they are capable. The failures build resilience, and the successes build confidence.
Encourage Independence
Independence grows best when there’s collaboration, not a top-down decision. Instead of making decisions for them, ask, “What’s something you feel like you could be doing more for yourself?”
Remember, with invisible supports, they may not have an answer right away. And that’s OK–you can provide suggestions or look for teachable moments. By framing independence as a shared conversation, you help them build confidence and ownership over their daily tasks.
Acknowledging the invisible supports we’ve built doesn’t mean we need to remove the safety net entirely. Last summer, my youngest was determined to swim in the deep end of the pool unassisted. Given that her earlier attempts at doggy paddling looked more like sinking with style, I was understandably hesitant. So I got in the pool to swim alongside her. And you know what? She did it! I didn’t jump out of the pool right away, as she was still unsteady and clearly working on this new skill, but I was eventually able to move to the pool deck and watch from afar. I know one day I will not need to be on the pool deck at all, or at least that is the goal.
Skill building is messy and a little scary for everyone involved, but it’s important for your teen’s future success that they develop systems–with your help–that will work for them.
Final Thoughts & Next Steps
College readiness can be developed over time. Your teen may not be 100% ready by the time they apply for college, but by using our tips and starting early, you can help them get to a place where they feel more confident about the transition.
As you reflect on the small adjustments you can make to support their growth, approach the process as a partnership rather than a checklist. Progress happens gradually, and with a collaborative approach, over time, the journey becomes less overwhelming and more empowering.
Collegewise’s has an extensive network of 100+ higher education professionals, many of whom have experience working with neurodivergent students. If your family is interested in learning more about how we can support you and your teen, schedule a free consultation today.
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Disclaimer: We are not psychologists, medical professionals, or licensed therapists. While we have extensive experience supporting neurodivergent students in their journey to college, the information in this blog is intended for educational purposes only and as a supplemental resource. It should not be considered medical or psychological advice. If you have concerns about your teen’s mental health or emotional well-being, we strongly encourage you to seek guidance from a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
About Us: With more than twenty-six years of experience, Collegewise counselors and tutors are at the forefront of the ever-evolving admissions landscape. Our work has always centered on you: the student. And just like we’ve always done, we look for ways for you to be your best self - whether it’s in the classroom, in your applications or in the right-fit college environment. Our range of tools include counseling, test prep, academic tutoring, and essay management, all with the support of our proprietary platform, leading to a 4x higher than average admissions rates.
